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Am I Confident Enough to Put Myself First?

When it comes to taking the reinvention leap, we think we need to have extraordinary confidence so we can take action. The problem is that confidence comes from taking action—not the other way around.

It’s a mistake to think that confidence will suddenly show up and allow you to do what’s necessary to reinvent your life. Especially since every single day you worry about risks, failure and being told you are stupid to think that things could be different.

Oh boy, do I know what that feels like. I had to confront my biggest fears and really leap into the unknown when deciding to write my memoir ‘When a Soulmate Says No’. See here. It helped me understand who I was on a much deeper level, and to appreciate that sometimes life throws you into a state of shock, despair and heartache, but that it's up to you to find your way back to yourself.

If you’re waiting for confidence to show up before you take your leap, I have advice to share with you. You’re going to keep waiting. Confidence comes from taking action and trusting that on the other side of your journey is the outcome you’ve been waiting for. It takes courage, and it takes bravery.

It comes from taking small simple steps that align with who you want to be. And believe it or not, if you’re reading this, it’s probably because you already have the courage you need. You see, just admitting to yourself that you want things to be different is enough to begin with.

It takes more courage to step out of the denial of your life condition than it does to take the leap—so you’re already exactly where you need to be.

Writing Exercise: Uncover the confidence that already exists inside of you. Use the following prompts to help you excavate your own courage and confidence to take action. Chances are, you already have everything you need to feel fully confident and ready—you simply need to be reminded.

  • A time when I truly owned my confidence was:

  • When I feel fully confident, I also feel these other feelings:

  • I will begin to cultivate these feelings in my life today by:

  • One thing I have the confidence to change in my life today is:

What do you notice after journaling? Can you see a simple step you can take today to build in the feelings and confidence you need to take action? Can you see the possibility of what will happen in your life when you do one simple thing?

I hope these writing prompts have supported you in beginning to uncover a new way through. The truth is that readiness for reinvention rises when you commit to moving past your stories and uncovering the confidence and courage inside you.

The only thing that reinvention really takes is a willingness to be different. And chances are, you’ve already reached that point.

So what comes next?

Now that you’ve identified a single thing you do have the confidence to do, set a date by which you’ll complete it—and take action. Just this one leap can lead to many!

If you would like to have an accountability partner to walk beside you through your reinvention process, I invite you to discuss a private coaching experience with me.

Amanda Trenfield

Transformation Coach


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