I’ve pulled together this quick tool to help you move from desire to fruition.
This is how I took action and I’m sharing it with you so you take the first tentative steps today.
The Transformation Equation
Some years back, I discovered the work of best-selling author and Master Life Coach, Nancy Levin. Nancy’s work transformed my life and gave me the courage to be the person I am today (not to mention the life coach certification I proudly hold as a Reinvention Coach).
If you’ve read her books or attended a workshop, then you might already be familiar with her Transformation Equation to support reinventing your life with intention.
Change = Vision + Choice + Action
And as simple as it sounds, the hardest part of implementing the transformation equation is actually starting—because you have to move past the stories you tell yourself and overcome the beliefs that prevent real, measurable action.
Scientists estimate that 95% of the mind’s activity is unconscious. This means that the majority of your emotions and behaviours are driven by your unconscious, rather than the consciously aware part of your mind.
Is it any surprise, then, that no matter how often you’ve promised yourself to live a different life you fall short of your goals? And why you so frequently ignore choices you know would benefit you, favouring those that cause you trouble or self-admonishment?
Before you can begin to take the leap, it’s important to excavate the unconscious mind’s material and bring it into conscious awareness—so it becomes easier to implement the transformation equation, and take conscious control of asserting what you want and need.
This can be done in an authentic way that honours you and the people you hold dearest in your life. This is, in part, why I decided to publish my personal memoir called ‘When a Soulmate Says No’ - Amazon Australia link.
My sincere wish in sharing this account of heartache and loss is to demonstrate the incredible power of hope. That although it may seem like the end of your world, a catalyst moment – however it happens for you – can be the spark that leads to a courageous, transformative and authentic life.
The following short guide and exercise will help you excavate some of the unconscious blocks that keep you from reinventing yourself. Use this to help you break free from some of your fears and doubts so you can start to feel more confident about the actions you take!
The Story You Tell Yourself
When it comes to feeling ready to reinvent yourself or your life, it’s likely your struggle comes from the stories you tell yourself.
How many times have you accepted that “this is the way I am” or “it’s too late for me”?
Your unconscious mind brings forth these stories as a way to protect you from getting hurt.
Often called limiting beliefs or in the work I do with clients “shadow beliefs,” your unconscious mind stores a number of these that hold you back. Here’s what some of them might sound like:
I’m too old (or too young!)
I can’t change
I have no time to focus on transformation - I’m too busy!
My family and friends will reject me if I reinvent myself
I’ve invested so much in my career, I can’t change now
People rely on me so I can’t afford to reinvent myself
Any of these sound familiar?
Most shadow beliefs are rooted in absolutes and were likely formed at a time when we were too young to understand or remember.
The beliefs were based on decisions and conclusions you made in order to protect yourself, avoid pain or rejection that got buried in your subconscious brain—only to show up whenever you’re about to push the edges of your personal comfort zone (like with reinvention).
But the truth is that most of your thoughts and beliefs are far worse than any reality you might experience!
Which is why, when it comes to the stories you tell yourself, it’s important to separate the facts from the fictions you create based on the unresolved emotions of your past.
Here’s a simple exercise you can do to help you start to see the stories holding you back and get ready to step into real change.
Writing Exercise: Start to dig up all the “what ifs” or reasoning why you absolutely cannot afford to reinvent your life now. Use this simple writing prompt to separate your fact from fiction so you can make clear choices based on your truth.
The story I tell myself why I can’t reinvent my life right now is:
The objective truth is:
This happens if I stay rooted in my story:
This happens if I shift into possibility:
What did you notice as a result of doing this exercise? Can you see how the things you tell yourself are really old stories pulling you back into the past rather than into your powerful future?
The more you do this exercise, the more you’ll be able to build the confidence you need to take the leap!
So what comes next?
Now that you’ve identified a single story that is holding you back, it’s time to begin creating your ideal future.
If you would like to have an accountability partner to walk beside you through your reinvention process, I invite you to discuss a private coaching experience with me.