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Has the Time Come to Give Yourself Permission to Say No?

It’s likely that one of the biggest things holding you back from taking the reinvention leap is that you’ve been told you have to put others’ needs and wants before your own.

Chances are you’ve been doing this your whole life and now, when you contemplate taking your turn, it can bring up feelings of guilt, insecurity and doubt.

You might even struggle with being able to really identify what YOU want because you’ve spent so many years saying yes to everyone else.

So, when it comes to your own personal reinvention you might feel conflicted and unsure about whether now is the right time for you.

I certainly was.

It was an excruciatingly difficult life decision I made that changed not only my life, but the life of those I care deeply about. Having been through the experience, and written about it in ‘When a Soulmate Says No’, (here) I can share that if done in a way that holds the best intentions for everybody, and with utmost sensitivity, it can produce an outcome that is beneficial for everyone.

Here’s a simple exercise you can do to help you start to see how you have been holding yourself back from stepping into real change.

Writing Exercise: Start to dig up all the habits and patterns that have kept you saying yes to everyone else and no to what’s really important to you. Use this to see how you’ve been holding yourself back from taking important steps forward.

  • The ways I prioritise others’ need above my own are:

  • When it comes to saying no to others, the feelings that surface are:

  • The messages I received about prioritising others needs was:

  • Prioritising others’ needs above my own has prevented me from:

  • If I put myself before others, I’m afraid this might happen:

  • This will happen if I shift into possibility and begin to prioritise myself:

What do you notice about the messages you received about putting others first?

Chances are that you’ve had years of putting others’ needs above your own and it’s become a hard habit to break.

You’ve probably spent hours focusing on the fears you have around saying no—but hardly imagined what becomes of your life when you say no to others and YES to you.

The more you can settle into what truly becomes possible for you, the more likely you’ll be able to map out a true road to reinvention success.

If you would like to have an accountability partner to walk beside you through your reinvention process, I invite you to discuss a private coaching experience with me.

Amanda Trenfield

Transformation Coach


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