Quite simply, it's the way you gauge, assess, and adjust as you move through life…
Reinvention is a process of returning to 'you' by assessing and reassessing, calibrating and recalibrating. And at any moment you have the ability to be agile, adjust, shift, move.
However, it’s not possible to be agile, or to move forward in life when you are weighed down by your past. So, we’re going to explore what's holding you back, weighing you down and robbing you of your agility: Incompletions.
Incompletions are actions you haven’t taken in the past that create a barrier in the present, that prevents you creating the future you most desire. They can show up:
(1) Externally: broken agreements, clutter, half-completed projects, incomplete to-do lists, or clothes that no longer fit. Anything that’s lying around that you’ve literally or metaphorically outgrown. (2) Internally: these can show up in your thoughts and emotions – grudges, resentments, strained relationships, prejudices and even old traumas.
They are the stuff you are still carrying around that have not been put to rest, and these incompletions drain you, or you use them to beat yourself up. E.g: “I’m no good because I didn’t finish / can’t fit into anymore / didn’t achieve in xyz timeframe” etc.
Sometimes you are aware of your incompletions – they are right in your face as you move through the day. And sometimes your incompletions are hidden or covered up – you’re not even aware of it until it springs back into your awareness.
So why do we avoid incompletions in the first place?
Well, our emotions carry a lot of data and incompletions often elicit feelings of guilt, shame, remorse, resentment or even blame. So when they come up, it’s uncomfortable and we tend to default to anything else to fill in that space - scrolling the internet, calling a friend, eating, drinking, or throwing ourselves into work.
But these feelings are an indication that something needs your attention, needs to be addressed, needs to be completed. For example, rising resentment is a tell-tale sign that a boundary needs to be put in place. Butterflies in the stomach often signal you are avoiding a difficult conversation.
So when an uncomfortable feeling arises, remember it serves as directional signage – something you have deliberately not been looking at, avoiding, or pushing away. When you notice you're having one of those feelings, it’s an invitation to check in and see what else is going on.
Ask yourself - Is there an incompletion in the mix? Is there something in life that needs to be addressed or completed?
Incompletions are a huge way we self-sabotage, and unfortunately, there is often
a really big cost - they can hinder our ability to take action on things that need to be done. They drain our energy, zap our creativity, and drag down our self-esteem. That’s why we want, and need, to clean them up.
When we address them, it mobilizes movement, and possibility. It frees us up and allows us to align with the Vision we have created for our lives.
Is this making sense to you? What’s coming up for you as your read about incompletions?
Here’s a quick exercise:
Consider what you’re willing to let go of now, and what no longer needs your attention, even though at one time it felt really important. Eliminating allows you to make space for what you really want.
This might even be something that invokes forgiveness - like letting go of a grudge toward another person. It isn’t about condoning their behaviours or relieving them of responsibility, rather it's about giving yourself the gift of releasing the burden of resentment you’ve been carrying.
You can still make a choice around engaging with the other person, or not. But continuing to carry the resentment - to continue to suffer - is a choice you make for yourself. Instead, consider choosing short-term discomfort – a conversation you need to have for example, over long-term resentment that you hold on to. Complete the ‘Incompletion’.
Staying ‘busy’ is another way we avoid feeling and dealing, because it's hard to feel when we are being so ‘productive / run off our feet / drowning in paperwork’. However, over time, this undermines our confidence in ourselves as we know we are not facing up to an issue - an ‘incompletion’ in our lives.
Please consider whether you are still dragging an incompletion around with you that is old and outdated - that you don’t even want anymore!!!
Ask yourself the questions:
Þ Is it still relevant?
Þ Is it still necessary?
Þ Does it still matter?
Þ Is it still something that I want to do?
Another great way to discover incompletions is to pay attention to what you procrastinate about. Procrastination is a sign of an incompletion. By definition, if you are procrastinating, you are not ‘completing’ the task. So, if you are procrastinating, ask yourself - why? Often, it comes from a feeling of overwhelm.
Are you now ready to look at some incompletions in your life?
Are you ready to tackle them, or let them go?
This is a key module I focus on in my practice with clients. The results they achieve – the way that they move themselves forward at lightning speed – is often a result of cleaning up these incompletions. Cleaning these up may not always be comfortable, but with the right guidance and accountability, it can definitely be life-changing.
If you’d like some help cleaning up your Incompletions, I am ready when you are.
Amanda Trenfield
Transformation Coach
www.amandatrenfield.com